I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
