Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's never too late to be topless.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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