Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize