theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sext me about skeletons
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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