Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
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All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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