Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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