So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
