I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
