Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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