You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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