I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
