hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
