I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
