I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
