Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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