all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
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im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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