It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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