An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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