Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
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