Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
