Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
