If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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