So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
