Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
