I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
