stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize