Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize