yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i believe in u and ur pee
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
