waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize