Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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