im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize