i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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