Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
