i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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