This is not my ceiling
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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