All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
