Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
