Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
