3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...