Who did Billy Mays play for?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on