This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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