we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
