We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
