Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
