Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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