I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
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i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.