grinding to god bless the USA? really?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino