So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
