Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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