I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
