hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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