my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
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even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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