I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
