so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
porn star boner night. come get it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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