There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
