Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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