I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
