your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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