i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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