if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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