Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
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Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.