Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.