i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.