Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
