dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think I sprained my soul last night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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