what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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